The moment your partner and you have entered into a marriage covenant before God, you have become 1. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24
You are not only becoming 1 flesh as mentioned above, you are leaving your father and your mother.
This means it is important to take an appropriate distance from your parents. People also often refer to this as cutting the umbilical cord.
Cutting the umbilical cord symbolizes letting go of your children. It is not only important to let go of your adult children it is also important to let go of your young children, more on this later.
What is implied by letting go of your adult children; Often we see examples of, (mainly), sons whose mothers cannot let go of them. The mothers are so accustomed to being the most important woman in their son’s life, that the moment the son meets a partner the mother feels like she is pushed off her throne. These mothers often want to transfer their habits and wants onto the household that the son has started with his wife. This is not always from an evil heart, but is intrusive. No space is given to the child and partner to establish their own patterns, to create their own habits, to discover who they are as a unit (1 flesh).
Your son’s wife should never have to compete with you as his mother!
Failing to know your position in your child’s life may be hard for you to see, but empathize with your child’s position; You are putting your child in a position where they may feel they have to choose between you and their partner. We must never put our children in such a position that creates conflict between them and their partners. The Bible is clear about this, as named in the above verses.
Of course children should honor their fathers, but God also talks about fathers not provoking wrath. Children, be obedient to your parents in the Lord, for that is right. Honor your father and mother (that is the first commandment with a promise), that you may prosper and live long on the earth. And fathers, stir up no wrath in your children, but raise them up in the instruction and reproof of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4
A situation like this only knows losers, the child, the partner and the parent!
We as parents need to know the boundaries!
The boundaries I am talking about you can only establish with Jesus by your side, only He can guide you to let go of your child; The so-called cutting of the umbilical cord.
The cutting of the umbilical cord is done the moment your children are small, you do this not because you are no longer their father or mother, you do this because you realize that they are not your children but Papa God’s children.
We must step back, put the children in the hands of Papa God and let Him have His way in the lives of the children. We must hand over the ropes of control to Him and let Him do His work.
This does not mean that you no longer have a role in the child’s life!
You are and will continue to be the caregiver of the child, however, you are no longer raising the child by your own strength but through the power of Papa God.
He knows the exact plan for the child’s life, He knows what He has in mind for the child, He is preparing the child to walk in His calling.
For this reason Papa God will raise the child through you, but this can only happen if you know your place and you are willing to step back and let Papa God take the wheel.
You can only establish these boundaries with Jesus by your side.
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6